Mr. Detachment

Shouldn't this be advertised under "Services" or "Creative Gigs"?:

looking for a woman to carry my child - 20
hello my name is ****** and im looking for a woman to carry my child after the child is born you will have nothing to do with it and I can pay up to 3000 dollers and for all dr visits and no I dnt want to have just sex and no I dnt do verication sites I will not do it no way if interested send me a pic thanks

So, yeah, that's not creepy.

I just have to ask: WTF? What would a twenty year old need put out an ad for a surrogate for?

This just sounds a little too Lifetime Afternoon Special for me. And how do you misspell dollars?

Do you love bras as much as this man?

Really, the title says it all...

Bras - m4w - 44

Looking to find a Nice Lady between 35-70ish that Loves Bras as much as I do. This is not a sex ad!! I'm a bra wearing man that loves the feel of a great bra & wear one daily. I also love to shop for intimates. Hit me up & put "Lingerie" in subject to weed out spam.

To me, this ad only seeks to open a frightening line of questioning. Does this man have bosoms? If he does, are they bigger than mine? I wonder what size bras he wears...Do you think if he doesn't have bosoms he stuffs?...

I, personally, have always found bras to be torturous and far from enjoyable, as have most women I've spoke with on the subject so I wish this man the sincerest of luck on his quest to find a woman that loves this "necessary evil".

Mr. Pro-Life

Oh! Such fun:

Baby making-Random encounters... - 38

I will be working in ************** over the next 2.5 years and have decided it would be such fun to have some semi-random babymaking encounters.

I'm 38, six feet, and a tall dark and handsome 195lbs, and the healthiest, happiest man on the planet who is free and knows it! Today I nordic skied 18k and ate vegetarian delights until I laughed out loud with glee. Men rarely are as self-actualized as I and this is not ego at work; merely the state of my being. By the way, I have fathered multiple children already and don't see myself stopping this process for at least the next decade or so. Tidbit: after coming to the US from Germany in 1848, my great-great grandfather bore thirteen children which has now become a fantastic clan of hundreds spread across the US. His last child was born when he was fifty-nine, so I thought there is no reason not to follow in his very successful footsteps...gene steps, lol...(loads of super-healthy, happy intellectuals throughout this clan).

Now to babies and life: I am a proponent of having children, many of them. They are little bundles of assets just waiting to evolve into fulfilling lives, much like all the other lovely humans on Earth. It is a privilege to exist.

If you are single, or a married couple for that matter, who would like to bring a child into being and would like a donor male, let's get together and see if there is a match.

My requirements are simple: you are 30 years old or older and HWP. This tells me you are most likely mentally, physically and emotionally healthy stable person. You currently has no children and you want to commit yourself to becoming one of those great parent on Mother Earth.

Lastly, this is not an invitation to get married or even have a relationship outside of recombinating our DNA. If you conceive and we really click, then we can both consider a more appropriate relationship with all the trimmings.
First chance encounter is tomorrow night while I am staying in A******. This is not a joke. We can even have dinner first if you'd like :)

Yep! Being Height/Weight Proportionate is the key indicator of mental, physical and emotional health! Let's recombinate! We can even have dinner first!

I'm sure the healthiest people in the world will respond to this ad! As long as they currently has no children, that is.

The recession effects everyone, foot fetishists included

It was only a matter of time before we found one...

Good looking guy for Sexy Feet - 35

I am a good looking, clean, very discreet man who wants an attractive woman who has beautiful feet and would like the worshiped. I think a womens feet are very sexy and erotic and i would like nothing more than to spend some time treating yours like they deserve to be treated. I am not looking for a prostitute or anything like that. Just an attractive intelligent woman who is well groomed and has lovely feet. So if this is you and your intersted please email me. If might even be willing to throw a little $$$ your way if your worth it. Email me

Personally, I am terrified at the idea of anyone worshiping my feet. Hell, I am terrified at the idea of anyone touching my feet let alone getting down on his hands and knees and worshiping them!

However, it is a sad economic indicator of the times we live in, foot fetishists having to pay for feet to venerate. Remember the good ol' days before the recession, where you could just creepily laud a woman's feet for free?

Mr. Caveman

For those of you looking for that Old Fashioned kind of man:

Hunter Seeks Gatherer - 36

Hunter seeks suitable Gatherer, Hunter healthy and strong, and can ensure selected Gather will not lack for protein. Hunters Cave is warm in the winter and cool in the summer. Hunter will not require Gatherer to wear Leopard skin suit, but He would like to imagine she might look good in one. Hunter wishes Gatherer's wavey locks shall fall well below her collar bone (hopefully) Hunter wishes for Gatherer to be of good temper at lest 64% of the New Moon prefureably much more. Hunter is Willing to present Gatherer with "Rock of many sparkles" if he finds her to be of good/exellent Quality. Gather who seeks Hunter Must show Hunter Reflection of Quality Gatherer before Hunter will jurney over mountain to meet Her and share food with her. Hunter wishes for Gather to believe in God. Gatherers age is not important as long as (Leopard Skin suit theory applies) Hunter is prepaired to Attend Cave of Higher Learning, and speek in complete sentences if it would please Gatherer. Reflection of Hunter is not actual, Hunter does not know if you will find him this handsome, but hunter hopes you might like his rugged looks? Hunter will share actual Reflection of Hunter only with REAL Gatherer. -The Hunter is serious and Hunting for YOU, ......only you can bring this hunt to an end, why are you just looking?

One hundred million points go to this man for creativity. I salute you sir, you are guaranteed to find someone with a , how shall I put this, ROBUST sense of humor with this ad.

Mr. Cat and Mouse

There is someone for everyone out there, even someone who needs a switft kick in the drawers:

Cat Boy Seeks She Master With Only A Strong Mental Leash. Inquire Here - 22

Hi, I'm C**** and I'm a cat-boy. If you're wondering what that is, it means I like playing with tring,being put in a kennel when you are away, and curling up next to you whenever it is you do what you do.

I know some people look down upon this behavior, but I don't care because it is what makes me happy. And I'm sure it would make you happy too, if you could say for the first time in your life that you made a man purr.

I hate leashes and love the indoors, and sad though it may be, avoid high doses of water and prefer to lightly sponge bathe, but I'd rather not say too much.

I'm happiest when someone else is grooming me and working on my hair. I like to be cared for and pampered.

If you think you might like a strange guy like me,please drop a line.
-C****

P.S. I'm screwing with you. I'm nothing like that.

What!?! You can't DO that! What kind of response are you going to get when you write an elaborate fantasy like that and then go "Naah, I'm just screwing with you." And WHAT kind of strange guy are you? The lying kind? That's not attractive!

I hope he gets fleas.

Want to help this man hunt wieners?

This man's ad seems to be one of the most straightforward ones I have ever seen...the problem is, I'm not particularly sure why its in the "personals" section. I suppose, he is asking for the advice of ladies...

Who has a better wiener than Konop's???

Hello ladies,

You may be able to help me find the best natural casing wiener in the land. I have gone to four very reputable meat markets in the area and none of them had a good old country wiener that tasted as good as a Konop's wiener. Konop's is a small meat market in Stangelville, WI that is about 2 hours north of here. I would like to know of a meat market that is closer and has a better or same quality wiener as Konop's. Does anybody know of a meat market in the area that has a great tasting natural casing wiener? I heard there is a place in Slovan, WI that has a great wiener but that is further away than Konop's. If anybody has tasted a wiener at the Slovan meat market I would appreciate it if you would tell me how you liked it.

I have never sought grocery advice in the personals section of a classifieds site, but apparently it can be done!

The other interesting thing about this ad is that its just straddling that line between legitimacy and double entendre vulgarity.

In any case, I hope this man finds the wiener he is looking for. Bon Chance, sir!